Cruisebook Cover

So I'm sure some may be curious as to what the Cruise Book cover will look like. This is a preview of what I'm shooting for, it's still tentative. It's an ink illustration I did based off the plank holder certificate I did last year.

Ouch Charlie! That really hurt!

Charlie bit me...

I'm still working on this. It's coming along better than I thought it would. The Detective took me way too long, I went over and over and over his facial features a million and a half times over about 4 hours to finally get it somewhere that works. I'll probably go over it again.




If I don't stop myself I'll be up all night with this thing.

www.polkout.com

Read www.polkout.com

It's hilarious.

On the Psyche of a Zombie

It feels like it's been forever since I just tried to paint something for myself. As in, not a Marine or something for 3/3. WO Quigley would probably shit his pants with rage if he knew I was doing this and not the USMC art he wants, but it's 3am and I just feel like thinking about zombies.

I miss zombies. I love zombies. I love how simple, sad, and confused their faces are. I love how they stumble and moan, the amount of entertainment I get out of the little things zombies do is kind of weird. Sure, everyone loves a good zombie flick, they like seeing a group of survivors fight their way out of a horde to safety. They like seeing what the people are going through, and talking about how they would handle it.

When I watch a zombie movie I don't care about the people, I try to think about what the zombie must be going through. People think of them as mindless entities, just roaming and eating. In the simplest of terms, that's what they are. But on some level, consciousness exists. Writing Charlie the Zombie, I started thinking about what he must be seeing. They do see, after all. They see, they smell, they touch, and at some level, they're able to think. If only to discern what's food and what isn't, people always say it's "instinct." I've heard it said that the difference between man and animal is free will, and that animals are driven by instinct. While I can't really say whether or not this is true, I do know that no matter how dumb I may think my dog Charlie is, there is still thought going on behind his blank stares.

Charlie the Dog, much like Charlie the Zombie, sees the world in front of him. He dreams and thinks just like any human, albeit at a lower level of intelligence. No matter how you look at it though, Charlie, like any animal with a brain, thinks. This leads me to think that a zombie must think on some level as well. The brain, damaged from lack of blood flow, still processes information and still produces images and thoughts in his head. These thoughts are damaged though, the images distorted and turned into a horrifying kind of reality only fully illustrated in our worst nightmares. The deepest parts of the brain are the only ones left active, childhood memories and scars buried deeper than we can even remember are the reality of a zombie. The nightmare only growing more frightening and distorted as the brain rots, as zombies do rot, and ultimately the creature will slip away.

People think of zombies as just hungry, wandering and trying to find food. Perhaps there is a reason they see us as food though, perhaps in their horrifying reality we're represented to them as some horrible childhood figure and in their state lack the intelligence to stop themselves from wanting to kill us. Maybe to a zombie, eating the flesh of a living human provides them with some kind of respite--a fullfilled revenge of sorts in their wandering daze.

I dunno, this is all just speculation obviously, and the focal point of Charlie the Zombie. I urge you all, the next time you're playing Resident Evil or watching Day of the Dead; ask yourself, What is this zombie doing here? What events after his death led him to this point, only to be killed by the hero.

Seeing the world from their eyes might in fact open your own.

A Preview of Things to Come

So it's like 4am here but I had this awesome idea for a new Charlie painting and I started working it. Based off of the Michaelangelo painting, there is going to be much more to it...

Night Vision Goggles

So I was browsing Gamespot and I noticed an article on Modern Warfare 2 coming out soon. This is a picture of the expected deluxe edition or whatever they're calling it these days:



Now, I understand that not everyone would know that these are in fact not what real Marines and soldiers are issued. However, I do expect that the creators of Modern Warfare would do even just a tiny bit of research to unveil to themselves that this is just fucking absurd. Those huge things are mimicking something that hasn't been used in many years, and were replaced by the PVS-14's around the same time I got to the fleet. This game is supposed to be in the near future, and these are what they're passing off as "high-tech modern night-vision".

I took a picture of myself with my issued PVS-14 night-vision. It's about a quarter the size, doesn't strap to my head, and doesn't cover up both of my eyes.



I was really impressed with Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare's extremely realistic portrayal of Iraq and modern war. This is disappointing, that they will pass these things off in a $150 DELUXE EDITION and people will think it's really sweet. I hate you Activision.

The Guys in Charge

I talk so much about these two, I figured I'd put up a picture. Here is our Battalion Commander and our Battalion Sergeant Major: LtCol Goff (left), and SgtMaj Baldwin (right).

WIP

Here is something I'm working on. I'm planning on inking it. From the last email I got from Michael Fay it seemed like he wanted to see more ink. That's fine, I love ink.



I don't ever have any direction as to what I'm supposed to be drawing. I just... do. I dunno, it gets confusing sometimes. But whatever, how often does anyone get to do this?

You can't spell "Disgruntled" without "Grunt"

I hate having all of these really awesome ideas in my head for movies and scenes that are fully fleshed out and ready to go, but not having the ability to put things in motion. I really want to go to school, I want to learn the art of character animation and realize everything I've been going through this shit-storm for. Of course, I doubt when I get my degree I'll be able to create everything I want right away, I'll probably be stuck working at Disney animation studios doing whatever new straight-to-DVD-animated-sequel-to-a-beloved-classic they're deciding to flood the market with at the time.

Regardless, I'm really excited to get out of this organization already.

I won't lie, I don't hate the Marine Corps. I think most Marines' anger and hatred is better aimed at their specific chain of command than the Corps itself. There's been a lot of that going on around here lately. While I will agree that most Marines would complain regardless of how good or bad things are--I do think that lately things have been even more ridiculous and fucked than they usually are. That's saying a lot.

Either the command doesn't know, or they don't care that every Marine under them has reached a point of complete ambivalence. No one has any confidence or trust in this chain of command, they're convinced that most of the staff is out to get them as well. While one would expect this from a few disheartened individuals, it's not something that you would typically see on the company level. While I can understand that the commands decisions will not appeal to everyone, it's somewhat expected that they have the responsibility to make the decisions appeal to someone.

When I asked the question, "What is the point of switching two companies in a battlespace when both of them are already set-in, and more than willing to finish the remainder of the deployment at their current locations?" The reply I received was, "It's political."

Political for who? The Battalion staff? Spending thousands of government dollars doing something that absolutely doesn't have to be done is downright irresponsible, not to mention a waste of everyone's time. On paper, playing the infantry company shuffle may work. Shit, it may even work logistically. What the battalion doesn't realize however is that acts like these, with no explanation, leaves the people that it actually affects in complete anger and discontent. No one wants to have to pack everything they have, tell their families they have a different address, move to some place they've never been, all for political reasons. Things like this are what destroy the "Marine Corps" for those on the fence about re-enlisting. Things like this are what keep Marines performing poorly. When there's no purpose behind action, what's the point?

Blah, I'm just ranting now. Anyway, I'm getting tired. My sleep schedule is still messed up from my all-nighters in Ramadi.

Rarely

Very rarely do I actually care about anything that isn't related to my wife or videogames, but I've had a very longstanding dream to become a professional animator. My plan has always been something like this:

1. Do Art
2. ??
3. Make Cartoons
4. Profit!

Unfortunately step 2 has always eluded me, but now that my enlistment is coming to an end, it's high time I get my shit together to fill in this missing step.

Right now that would be getting in to CalArts' Character Animation program. Although I picked CalArts a while ago, I didn't really realize how prestigious it actually is. CalArts, and more specifically, the Character Animation program, is one of the most difficult art programs in the country to get accepted to. It's something like an 8% acceptance rate, and 15 students per semester. While that's somewhere between holy shit and omygawd, I honestly think I have a chance.

Now, I know it would be weird to think that someone without a high school diploma, degree, or even good grades would be able to make it into a program such as this. However, CalArts is also notorious for not basing their acceptance off of grades, they look for talent. This, and probably only this, will put me in the position I need to get accepted. Honestly, I have to be an extremely unique case at CalArts. This will make it easier for me to get noticed there.

When going up against what I can assume is mostly high school graduates, 18 years of age or so, I have a couple of things on them.

-I have prior college experience, with decent grades.
-I'm not 18, I'll be 23 and thus viewed possibly as being more responsible.
-I'm a combat artist. I doubt any of those kids have either been to Iraq or done any kind of unique professional work.
-I am already educated in art to a point that I know is above the majority of 18 year old kids.
And lastly...
-I'm awesome.

I've already been talking to a counselor, and before that my emails were flooding the CalArts help desk so much they referred me to someone specific--thus letting me know that they probably know my name by now.

I'm pretty confident, even though the odds would seem to be stacked against me on paper, that I will get accepted into CalArts. The only thing I don't have going for me is the GI Bill and California not being too happy together. Hopefully these issues will be fixed soon and it won't cause me any problems while I try to pay the costly $34,000 a year tuition.

Since the beginning of the war in Iraq back in 2003, many new developments have come along as a result of it. War breeds new technology and tactics--and thus a more advanced, efficient war-fighting force has been born as a result of it.

It is now 2009, and we are on the eve of the war's end. It is at this time however, that the rules are becoming more and more ridiculous. I'm not speaking of the new SOFA agreement, or any political changes made to the doctrine of war. I'm speaking of course in relation to the "rules" that have been bestowed upon the average Marine by higher command.

It's almost as if the lack of combat action taking place in the country is causing the higher powers that be to become stagnant, senile entities, sitting in their cave-like offices pondering all the possible ways that the "enemy" in their eyes will try to kill them. Cold, war-hardened colonels and generals sit in their offices lost in the world of their own psyche--a place that I can only imagine. Not unlike a dungeon, a place so dark and wrought with fear and paranoia that any good or common sense that once existed has either been tortured beyond recognition or executed by the undertakers of their mind.

One "rule" that comes to mind is an actual order that is now being practiced in full-swing here on the bases of Iraq. That is, of course, the front rifle carry. Without any thought or consideration for the people that actually have to carry these heavy, metal objects with them everywhere they go, i.e., the Lance Corporal; gone are the days when this inconvenient weapon could be slung on the back or side to keep it out of the way. Now you absolutely must put this hulking piece of equipment--the only one you're required to have on you at all times--to your front. This is to keep in the minds of Marines that we're "always ready". Yes, we're always ready. I can only assume that whatever drug induced general or staff NCO that thought of this rule had only the best intentions. But to justify this new, heavily enforced carry, you need to assume a lot of things.

First, you need to assume that the "enemy" (as we like to call him) has made it passed the front ECP of the base in mind. Then, you need to assume that the enemy has the intention to attack somebody up front, on a base surrounded by service members. Then, you need to assume that the service member being attacked has a loaded rifle--which he or she never will on base. You also need to assume that the enemy, as crazy as he may be, won't just mortar the base or launch a barrage of RPG's in place of coming at you with a knife or some such. This has never happened, and I'm almost 100% certain that if the enemy did decide to attack a base as large as al Asad or Ramadi--they would use some kind of indirect fire. Carrying your rifle to your front, at the alert, is not going to help you defend the base against a mortar attack.

The only thing this rifle carry does accomplish is being extremely inconvenient for the person that has to carry it. As we all know, the issued M9 pistol is a status symbol in the military--those that carry it are usually of higher rank or "rate it" some how. This weapon is usually holstered on their side or their leg. If we're now concerned about always being at the ready, when violence is at an all-time low in the country, then maybe the people that carry M9's should walk around with them in their hands, ready to take out any foes that wish to assault them.

Another one of these new rules cooked up in the demented world of higher-rank is that of the "face guard". Illustrated by my good friend LCPL Jacobs here:



This is a face guard designed for turret gunners. Specifically, the lead turret gunner. Jacobs here is the lead turret gunner of a 7-ton--a vehicle that puts him some 15 feet off the ground. In this stage of the war, where IED's are much less common--this hefty addition to his kevlar is best described as "too ridiculous, too late". But somehow, in the cold, bitter world that is the higher-up thought process--this seemed like a good idea. Despite the fact that we haven't run into a single IED out here, despite the fact that the frag from an IED probably won't be able to arc over the 15 ft tall armor of the 7-ton turret and still cause damage to his face. Despite the fact that even if that did happen, it would probably be far too close for this thing to make a difference... he still has to wear it; because in the horrifying reality taking place in the mind of some colonel somewhere in this country--LCPL Jacobs is in danger without it.

I could go on, but I think I've illustrated my point here. As less and less happens, things become more and more ridiculous. It wasn't this bad on my first deployment here, and though nothing of interest happened then either--the odds of it were much greater. And yet, we didn't have to carry our rifles to our front and LCPL Jacobs (or myself for that matter) didn't have to wear the face guard.

Hopefully we get out of this country soon. If we don't, we'll probably have to walk around in our PPE wearing our dress blue jacket patrolling the food court to make sure the enemy is thoroughly confused before they try to mess with the US Marines... a force to be reckoned with.